The Master's Masterpiece - Diane's Blog



Diane Burton - Thursday, April 02, 2020

Emotions - they are real.

How someone feels - it is real and no one can ever know exactly how you feel or how I feel.

As a Certified Grief Coach, I see/hear so many different emotions. Many times people feel guilty if they aren't having an emotion they thought they "should" have. I ask questions and guide them to realizing the emotions they are having are the emotions they're supposed to have at that time.

When my mother was dying of cancer, I had people tell me I would have certain emotions - one of which was anger. I thought, I don't have anger now, and I don't want anger afterwards. I shared that with my sister and she said, "you better not be angry about this." 😏🙂 I assured her I wouldn't be.

As I thought about people telling me the kind of emotions I would have, I realized how dangerous it is to tell people they will go through certain emotions during any kind of trial and tribulation.

Instead, what if you ask someone how they are feeling? Ask them what they are thinking. Ask them for the emotions they are having.

Personally, I don't want someone telling me I will be angry, depressed, have guilt, or any other emotion. Allow me to have the emotions I want to have.

What if I want to have an emotion of relief because my mother was no longer suffering? What if I want to have an emotion of joy because she lived many years and she was looking forward to going to heaven? Was I sad? Absolutely! Do I miss her? There are days I so wish I could to talk to her, have lunch with her, shop with her.

Do you realize that when you tell someone they will have certain emotions, it gets planted in the mind and then if they don't have that emotion, that's when the guilt can come because they think they are grieving incorrectly.

After the tornado hit Cookeville, TN, I was numb for a couple of days (we lived there 15 years and so this really touched my heart.) I paid attention to my feelings and prayed and journaled about. I know there are, and will continue to be so many emotions for the people of TN; yet, it's important we don't tell them what they will go through, it's important to allow them to have their own emotions, giving them guidance and support.

As we are now on the journey with COVID-19, it's important to pay attention to your own emotions. How are you feeling? Do you have someone to talk to?

Please don't tell someone they will feel a certain way! God made every one of us differently and so how I deal with my emotions during this is going to be different than anyone else and how you deal with it will be different than anyone else.

If you want to cry, then cry.
If you want to share funny stories and laugh, then laugh.
If you feel depression, , etc, please notice it, journal about it, pray about it and talk to someone.

Emotions are real - they are God-given. If they are emotions such as anger, depression, guilt, etc, please talk to someone and release instead of stuffing down inside. That's like trying to hold down a beach ball under water - eventually it will be released and explode out.

Even in times that seem so difficult, God tells us to be thankful in all circumstances, for this is His will in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

He has given us a spirit of power, love and self-control (2 Timothy 1:7)

He has given us love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22,23).

What if we choose to focus on those emotions by finding the lessons, blessings and gifts in everything? This is the desire of my heart and I pray it is for you, too.

Yes, emotions are real. You get to choose how you feel - now that is a blessing and a gift 

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